Friday, April 24, 2009

When things don't go the way we planned...

So it looks like my so-called "worst fears" are coming true. Not only will I be unemployed next week but I will also have to relocate to my home country. Ok. The tears flew down my face and I felt anger towards the whole "system", but how can I question God's will? We do not know what he wants for us.

A part of Fr. Walter Ciszek's book He Leadeth Me brought me this wisdom:

Each day, every day of out lives, God presents to us the people and opportunities upon which he expects us to act. He expects no more of us, but he will accept nothing less of us; and if we fail in our promise and commitment if we do not see in the situations of every moment of every day is divine will.

That about says it and I have to trust that.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The Memorare

Something odd happened to me last night. I was reading an interview with Matt Baglio on Beliefnet a journalist who has just put out a book about exorcism. He describes an experience he had after viewing part of an exorcism of a woman who was cursing the Virgin Mary, about whom the priest said had helped the woman greatly. So the journalist said a prayer to Mary, and shortly thereafter, a strong aroma of flowers filled his car. What struck him most was that along with this, he couldn't seem to stop smiling and he couldn't explain why.

So I went to bed, saying my prayers and asking the Virgin to give me a sign that she was still with me. Oddly enough, I did go to sleep and I was dreaming. I think it was about exorcism, etc. At the end of this dream, it was incredibly clear that I was told to begin reciting the Memorare, though I could not fully remember the words. My mom used to make me recite this prayer.

As I was reciting the prayer in my dreams, I awoke to a disturbing presence. I had to get up to use the toilet and if I may say so, I felt a somewhat evil presence - not too intense, but definitely unsettling enough that I began reciting this prayer and a few others. I don't know if there were bad angels with me or what, but it is odd that that was the prayer that came into my mind so vividly.

So this morning I woke up and googled a line from the prayer, discovering that it is called the Memorare. It is a plea for the assistance of the Blessed Virgin. I am glad I discovered it and I enjoyed praying it this morning. It filled me with strong and positive feelings while I recited it.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known
that any one who fled to thy protection,
implored thy help or sought thine intercession,
was left unaided.
Inspired with this confidence, I fly unto thee,
O Virgin of virgins, my Mother.
To thee I come, before thee I stand,
sinful and sorrowful;
O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy
hear and answer me.