I will never forget the moment when I finally said yes in my heart. I was in my little studio apartment in St. Louis, sitting there with my books, like a lot of grad student geeks, and I was thinking about my whole life, women, marriage, professorships, the priesthood, the Dominicans, God, all of it and none of it in particular. I was not at all certain in my intellect about a lot of things. In that memorable moment, I simply consented in my heart to do what my conscience had told me to do so very long ago, and was telling me even now to do. At that moment, in my heart, I said, "alright, I'll do it." From that point on, over many months, clarity gradually grew in my intellect, joy grew in my heart, and peace grew throughout my being. To be a priest was becoming what I wanted. You see, what happened in that moment of consent, I now realize, was that God gave me an inclination of the heart to allow him to be in my life what he truly is -- my creator. All along he wanted to create me as a priest, and I was saying no. As soon as I said yes, the creation of the priest commenced at a whole new level in my being. God began to outfit my being with a whole new set of desires, instincts, emotions, dreams, etc..The whole thing was gradual and supernatural.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Allowing ourselves to be created
Here is a excerpt from an interview with the Dominican Priest that I had linked to previously. The question was about feeling certainty over his decision to become a priest: